Ram Dass to the Rescue!

They told us we wouldn't have a colorful Fall because we had such a cool, rainy summer. EHHH! WRONG! Sweet Gum Tree tells no lies (seefururself).

"Did U retirez?" Well, Bhu, sort of. "What's SORT OF retiredz?" Rather than leaving abrubtly, I'm going to work half-time and take four weeks of vacation between now and January. I'm also going to have an apprentice! "Like Mickey Mouse and the Sorcerer?" Something like that, I guess. "How U make this desishun?" I consulted with a few Crones and then I read Ram Dass's book "Still Here." This more gentle transition seems to be righter, but you know I have a talent for making bad decisions. "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Countdown: Day Three

"Me no care about ur report, which IS A DAY LATE AGAIN!" Sorry, Bhu. There is a new rub. "Belleh rub?" No, a new option I should say. "What's dat?" They are trying to get me to stay and work part-time and now I don't know what to do but I have to decide by Monday. So, we are taking a break from the Countdown to Retirement. "U iz so noo-rah-tik! Eithur U wantz to stay home with me or not. Simple choice." Well, I would be able to stay home with you more and sometimes even work in my jammies. See, they will give me more green papers to buy your Fancy Feast and Temptations! "Hmmmmmm. K. Maybe u better think about it morez."

Countdown: Day Four

"U did it again! Ur report for Day Four is one day late!" I know, I'm sorry Bhu. I had a rough day and a worse night. "Too much sinuses?" Yep. "Do U has pig flu?" Hope not! "So what about the countdown?"

I'm kinda bored with the countdown today, mostly 'cause I'm sick and tired from not sleeping. I have a lot of things to think about and I don't think well when I am sick. Today I might just stay home and drink coffee and eat Cream of Wheat. It's a gloomy, grey, wet, cold day.

Countdown: Day Five

"U missed yesterday." I did, Bhu. I mean, not missed it altogether but wasn't able to file a report about Day Five: Countdown to Retire- ment. "U makes it sound so exciting." Well, I thought you might need some help doing "house security" all day, so I would retire from my job at the University. "Me no needz halp furrum you." But wouldn't it be fun to be together all day? I would be able to give you Fancy Feast whenever you got a little hunger pang. "Furrrget it! U makez too much noise, always singin' and dancin' around. Plus sometimes U bringz out the VAKYOOM machine!" Well, if I can't stay here with you, where will I go? "Back to workz! House security is MAI job, not yours." Hmmmmmmm.

Countdown: Day Six

Only an hour and 30 minutes to go on Day Six: Countdown to Retirement! Last night I worried about if I was doing the "right" thing and, of course, I NEVER do the right thing, so what's the diff? But I thought [out loud, by the way] "If I go to work on the 28th, nothing good will happen to me. If I don't go to work on the 28th, something good might happen." It's the old bird-in-the-hand dilemma.
"Boidz in teh hand? Where iz the boids? Me missed them! That looks like fish to me!"
Yes, you are astute, Bhu! That is, indeed, a fish and that is your nephew Walker and the photo commemorates the first fish he ever caught. Now, do you think he would have caught that fish if he'd gone to school that day?
"Maybe, if his school is on oshun or lake or river. That's where the fish R."
Well, most schools are NOT on the water, so there is not a very good chance of catching a fish in school.
"But doesn't fishes travel in schools?"
Hmmmm. So this is what I get for all my good work: a kitteh that seems to be the reincarnation of Gracie Allen!
"U iz loopy. Wut number comes next in countdown?"
Tune in tomorrow and see!
"Tuna tomorrow!?! YAY."
mrrrrffff

Lookz What Sweet P Sent:

Sweet Praline did not forget mai purrfday and sent me this purrity card!  Thanks to effurryone who wishes me a good day.  Me hopes ur purrfdays are good, too!  Papa gave me lotsa Temptations!  xxoo Bhu

Happy 12th Purrfday!

Another wonderful year with Bhu has begun!  He is still my sweet, purry little kitteh, though.  He loves to play with his Papa (aka, the human claw cushion) and gallop through the house like a 6 month old, but his naps are longer and always on schedule.

BhuMOBoy

"How U like mai license plate?" Very distinguished! Actually, I found this cute depiction of Bhu somewhere in the Cat Blogosophere, but I can't remember where. If you know who is responsible, leave a comment with the blog addy so we can all enjoy it.

We missed effurryone this weekend because our DSL went out. Everytime I called to ask for repairs, I got a voice message telling me to get online and chat live with a tech. Well, duh, I can't do that cuz I can't get online. Drive me crazy! We have been without internet connection since Saturday morning at 10 a.m. and this morning I got an e-mail at work asking me to get online and take their customer service survey. When I clicked on the link, I got a screen that said "Oops! This link appears to be broken." Am I laughin'? NO NO NO NO! CenturyTel, you do not amuse.

We LOVE OKTOBRRRRR!

It's cool. We turned on the furnace today, but I don't think it's cold enough for that. Luckily, we have plenty of wonderful, warm quilts . . . piles and piles of them. Why do I always wait until the last minute to think about planting bulbs? Tomorrow I will submit my intent to retire. Time for changes. I will be very poor. I will wake up in the morning and think, "Oh, I will go to the rec center and work out," or "Oh, I will go to the garden center and buy some bulbs to plant," but I won't be able to because I won't have any money. I am going to have to become an entrepreneur (like Apple Annie???). I can do that. I can have a street corner and peddle snacks like apples and bananas to college students as they rush by to get to class. Why should Campus Dining Service make all the big bucks?

Anyway, maybe once I'm retired I'll be able to take some really cool photos of Bhu. Maybe I'll even start drawing like Sachie.

We had cheezeburgers for dinner . . . homemade cheezeburgers with Black Diamond Cheddar ($19/lb.). YUM! Better than bagged burgers, that's fur shur! xxxoo Patty

I'm not even sore!

"Where U been?" Well, I just had the first session with my personal trainer, Thomas! "How was it?" It was GREAT! I am not as decrepit as I thought! I actually survived one whole hour of exercising without becoming overly moist and breathless AND I'm not even sore! I enjoyed it. I'm going back tomorrow! I'm really hungry for a cheeseburger, though. "That defeetZ the purrrrpose." As usual, you are correct, Bhu.

Ekwinox? What?

It's the autumnal equinox . . . the coming of Fall on Tuesday! "Me no wants to fall. Kin I just stay here and sleepz?" Truly, I don't think anyone expects anything else from you, Bhu. By the way, are you ready for Sweet Praline's birthday pajama party? "Oh YAH! How U like THIS pose? Think the ladies will go fur this?? Me wants to show my best feetshurs." Oh, you are gonna be a BIG HIT, Bhu! Just remember to be a gentleman, okay? "K."

The garden has wound down except for the Sweet Potatoes and the Grape Tomatoes. I LOVE Sweet Potato blossoms! So do the bees! Can't wait for the harvest! The weather has been ideal. I always dream of this kind of weather, so cool and clear! For family and furrends who are interested in my health, here is a report. I have yet another script for HBP. So far, so good. I signed up for a personal trainer and water aerobics! The other ladies in the class all have black bathing suits. My suit is bright yellow with big tropical flowers and I have the cutest yellow water shoes. "Well, mom, U iz the wierd one, we all know." So, Bhu, you wanna come with me to water aerobics Monday? "Uh, no thanks." Oh, come on Bhu! The ladies will all love you up and kiss and pet you. "No wants to get wetz." Such a fraidy cat!! xxoo Patty

Too Hurty for Shopping

"Me wants to go to store to getz Fancy Feast, but mom is having another painful gout attack. Come on, Mom! Buckle up!" Sorry, Bhu. I can't work the clutch and the brakes and the gas. "Hmpf! She always haz eksuse!"

Well, otherwise, it is a beautiful Saturday, cool and clear, with a home football game set for 6 p.m. There is a new sound system at the stadium, so I expect we will be treated to all sorts of noise pollution this evening. I'm sorta cranky 'cause of no sleep last night. "SORTA cranky? Me sez U is VERY cranky!" Sorry, Bhu. I'm just in pain. "When the doctor gonna take care of that?" Hmmmmm, apparently never. They don't seem to know what to do, Bhu. I hope you will still love me in my decrepitude. "Ur WHAT?" Nevermind. xxoo Patty

Sanguine

"K. So mai mom wants to illustrate wai she thinks me looks like George Clooney. Waddya thinks? Me no thinks his face is furry enough and he gotz no tail or wings on his toes." No, no, see Bhu, it's in the EYES! You have that sweet, sophisticated look that makes people trust you will do them no harm and then you POUNCE on them or bite their nose or scratch their hand. Well, maybe I shouldn't get into that right now.

Rotten Meg remembered I am trying to make life decisions right now. I have made the primary decision and now there are a lot of other little decisions that must follow. I'm an optimizer and I have an elevated capacity for caution. I can't say always but mostly I'm remorseful after being impulsive. Not that I enjoy planning -- I don't! I'm usually in the moment. So, if your head is spinning (What the heck is she talking about????), well, so is mine.

"See what me hasta put ups with? Freaky!"

Who's Dat?

It's all your friends in the blogosphere! They're here to see you, Bhu. "Me been gone so long, they not furrget me?" How could anyone forget YOU, Bhu? "K, Hai! We been busy but now we iz back! Hey, mom! When U gonna get a new cell phone? This one must be ten years old!" In due time, Bhu.
The garden is doing well and we are very proud of our sunflowers and BEES! Yay! It is so good to see bees everywhere but I have seen very few butterflies this year, so I'm a bit sad about that. Just a few tomatoes left at this point.
Most sad to report the death of black bunny, murdered by a motor vehicle last weekend. RIP, Mr. B! It's been a wild summer and an even wilder August. I can't believe September is two days away! I am not ready for Fall and in two weeks I have to make a major decision about my life and I am not prepared and I don't have time to GET prepared! It is really rough being a wage slave, when finding green papers becomes your priority. Please, please give me more time because I am not ready for winter yet!! xxoo Patty

As the Paw Turns: Celebration!

After a very short nap and a frantic housecleaning event, the Mayor's humble abode is ready for the dinner guests. Always one for oratory, Gingie clears his throat. "I've called you all here this evening at the request of Sweet Praline, the village Diva. She truly believes that we can all get along, without hissing and swatting and the rivalry among us. In fact, perhaps we can teach the humans a lesson about that (they do need it now don't they?). Take your seats at table, please, so the 'beans can start serving the delicious morsels! Hey, Bhu, get out of your bag and come to the table and on your way get Melvin away from that nip. He just doesn't know when to stop! Doc Romeo, can you just wake up for a minute and stop sleeping on the table? We need room for the morsels!" "Stop complaining GJ, I did one-hundred-and-one surgeries today! I worked far harder than any old civil servant like you, and I am tired! But, out of deference to your position, I'll be seated."

"Goma, get off the sidebar and come join us. "K, but I can getz bettur photos furrum over here, an' I gotsta publish tomorrow in political and social pages!
I worriez about it being "furreeee advertising" for your mayoral campaign next year. Does this meanz I hasta give equal space to other candidates? Hmmmm."

While everyone gathers at table, GJ invites Khyra to join the floofsters. "After all... wouldn't you all agree that's a very good way to begin getting along?" In unison, effuryone responds, "Yes, oh yes it is. That's how the paw turns . . . towards you with friendship!

As Melvin jumps under the table to retrieve his little mousie, he sees Sweet Praline reach for both the Mayor's and Bhu's paws. Maggy whispers to Khyra "She's such a diva!" Hmmmmmm.