OK, so the day before her purrfurmance review, mai mom TAKES ME TO THE VET!!! At the vet, me is known as "Hannibhu Lechter". Effurybody laffs, but what would U do if U was bein' stuck with needles and poked and mauled??? ECKSACTLEE: bite an' CLAW! Me is VERY good at bitin' and clawin'! (Patty: Which is why they have to use either the noose or the muzzle on him. It's fairly humiliating for me. I've raised a monster.)
Okay, so here we go with the Annual Purrfurmance Review of Pattyskypants. Furst, me is changin' the categories of review cuz me has speshul needs.
STUFF ME GETS: 4 paws
Mai mom is very sensitive to mai needs. This year she has prepared speshul gourmay chicken and liver pate fur me and gives me treats of butter, mayonnaise and olives. She also gives me Appetizer efurry day. She makes sure Poppy cleans the litter box and fills it with The World's Best Cat Litter (which she says is made just fur me!). She made a "fort" fur me in the bedroom window so me can watches boids and sqwurrels without bein' distracted.
STUFF ME WANTS: 2 paws
There is just not enuff BUGS around here to keep me busy! There is NO bugs at ALL between Catober and March! It is really boring. More Bugs, pleeze!
PURROMETER: The affurage score here would be 3 paws, as follows.
SCRITCHES: 4 paws. Mai mom gives the BEST head and ear scritches effur!
GROOMING: 3 paws. Me don't laik the noose cuz it keeps me from bein' able to bite and scratch. Afturr all, if me wasn't sposed to bite an' scratch, why would me has claws and fangs?????? Huh??????
LITTERBOX: 2+ paws. It's not entirely her fault; sometimes Poppy furgets and she doesn't follow-up.
Okay, so ofurrall, me gives mai mom a 4 plus paws. Me luvs U mommy! xxoo
Mommy luvs U 2, HanniBhu! xxoo Patty